Forgive me for not updating my blog regularly lately. Frankly, my life has been pretty boring as all I do is eat and sleep. No, I'm not enjoying it cos eating is not pleasurable anymore, and eating causes my stomach to bloat and I suffer from indigestion, which makes me want to lie down and try to sleep my discomfort away. But if I don't eat, my stomach goes into overdrive and churns out so much gastric juice and fills up with gas that can't be released. No joke.
There is also a long list of food that I can't stomach, not because I throw up but because my stomach really cannot digest them properly, they are, in no particular order, fried and oily food, dairy products, curry, fruits, food laden with MSG and sour food like tom yam and assam laksa. This practically covers 70% of all the food in Malaysia!! Arrggghhh!!
But I need to keep things in perspective, all the food above, other than fruits, aren't really good for my health anyway, so 'fasting' from them should actually be good for me. I'm just vexed because for someone who already has no appetite but needs to eat every 2 hours, it's really quite a torture.
So baby, I hope you'll appreciate all that mummy had to go through for you. Grow well, ok?
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
How Will I Be Remembered?
It was with a sense of loss when I sat with my children to watch the news of Michael Jackson's death this evening. I was in my early teens when I started to listen to his music, and I am not ashamed to say that I loved his music. In my opinion, he was the most gifted of all musicians. Yet, as years went by, news of his lifestyle and personal life filtered through the media, it was most obvious that he was someone who needed help, badly.
It's still too early to tell, but I wonder how will the world remember Michael Jackson? King of Pop, suspected child molester or as some have suggested, a tortured genius?
Come to think of it, how will I be remembered after I die? I have and am still giving the best of my years to raising my family, until my children are grown, I will not know if I have done a good job.
Being by nature a peacock, I've always liked to show off. Until I accepted Christ into my life, my secret dream was to be a star on London's West End or Hollywood's Broadway, but never Vegas (I've always considered it to be a bit cheap!) Being a film star was not enough for me because I loved an audience and adored their applause.
Now that I have a family, I've come down to earth somewhat; somehow, dirty diapers, vomit and cracked nipples does that to you! So now, although I may never be the Queen of Broadway, at least I know, I'm still the Queen of my children's hearts, till they fall in love of course.
As to how I will be remembered? Only time will tell.
It's still too early to tell, but I wonder how will the world remember Michael Jackson? King of Pop, suspected child molester or as some have suggested, a tortured genius?
Come to think of it, how will I be remembered after I die? I have and am still giving the best of my years to raising my family, until my children are grown, I will not know if I have done a good job.
Being by nature a peacock, I've always liked to show off. Until I accepted Christ into my life, my secret dream was to be a star on London's West End or Hollywood's Broadway, but never Vegas (I've always considered it to be a bit cheap!) Being a film star was not enough for me because I loved an audience and adored their applause.
Now that I have a family, I've come down to earth somewhat; somehow, dirty diapers, vomit and cracked nipples does that to you! So now, although I may never be the Queen of Broadway, at least I know, I'm still the Queen of my children's hearts, till they fall in love of course.
As to how I will be remembered? Only time will tell.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Maids
There's been lots of stories in the newspapers about the pros and cons of hiring maids from Indonesia. Allow me my 2 cents worth in my own blog!
I once had a lived in maid from Indonesia. She lasted one and a half months before we sent her home. I'd like to say that my family were the angels and she was not but I have to be fair. She came to us because a church friend of ours who had had her for 3 years were migrating to Australia. Our friend approached us and assured us that she was a very good worker and would be a blessing to our family. At that time, my hubby's job was getting demanding and he had to travel every week. So we thought, why not, since she's trained, we could do with some help, seemed like a win-win situation.
The only thing the maid asked for was a day off which we granted but with condition; she was to stay with one of our friends, who's also Indonesian on her days off so that our friend could keep an eye on her. She was only 21 at that time and still highly impressionable, we felt.
Things went smoothly and although we found her work less than satisfactory, I didn't make a fuss as I felt there was plenty of time to teach her my ways and preferences. The paperwork with the immigration department took about a month and when all the papers were cleared, she dropped a bombshell and announced that she has a boyfriend and they have been dating secretly for more than a year under my friend's nose! She went on to ask permission to see him as it was impossible for them to meet now that she's working for me.
It took another week for us to reverse the paperwork and when the day came we told her she was to spend Raya in her kampung and to pack straightaway as the agent was coming to get her. When she found out she won't be coming back, she went berserk. At the agent's house she begged to be released and wanted to elope with her boyfriend. She didn't sleep the whole night and was driven to the airport first thing in the morning. Her boyfriend even had the cheek to call me up to ask me her whereabouts.
The mental anguish and emotional turmoil that both the maid and I went through was indescribable. Both sides felt wronged and betrayed. But I had to think of the safety of my family and our property. It would have been suicidal if we had allowed her to stay. There was no recourse but to send her back.
So would I have another maid in the future? Well, never say never, but I seriously doubt we will get another one from Indonesia. For now, I'd stick to my part time cleaners that come in once a week. But if I had the money, I'd engage a Filipino maid. Any thoughts?
I once had a lived in maid from Indonesia. She lasted one and a half months before we sent her home. I'd like to say that my family were the angels and she was not but I have to be fair. She came to us because a church friend of ours who had had her for 3 years were migrating to Australia. Our friend approached us and assured us that she was a very good worker and would be a blessing to our family. At that time, my hubby's job was getting demanding and he had to travel every week. So we thought, why not, since she's trained, we could do with some help, seemed like a win-win situation.
The only thing the maid asked for was a day off which we granted but with condition; she was to stay with one of our friends, who's also Indonesian on her days off so that our friend could keep an eye on her. She was only 21 at that time and still highly impressionable, we felt.
Things went smoothly and although we found her work less than satisfactory, I didn't make a fuss as I felt there was plenty of time to teach her my ways and preferences. The paperwork with the immigration department took about a month and when all the papers were cleared, she dropped a bombshell and announced that she has a boyfriend and they have been dating secretly for more than a year under my friend's nose! She went on to ask permission to see him as it was impossible for them to meet now that she's working for me.
It took another week for us to reverse the paperwork and when the day came we told her she was to spend Raya in her kampung and to pack straightaway as the agent was coming to get her. When she found out she won't be coming back, she went berserk. At the agent's house she begged to be released and wanted to elope with her boyfriend. She didn't sleep the whole night and was driven to the airport first thing in the morning. Her boyfriend even had the cheek to call me up to ask me her whereabouts.
The mental anguish and emotional turmoil that both the maid and I went through was indescribable. Both sides felt wronged and betrayed. But I had to think of the safety of my family and our property. It would have been suicidal if we had allowed her to stay. There was no recourse but to send her back.
So would I have another maid in the future? Well, never say never, but I seriously doubt we will get another one from Indonesia. For now, I'd stick to my part time cleaners that come in once a week. But if I had the money, I'd engage a Filipino maid. Any thoughts?
Friday, June 19, 2009
Confinement Worries
Every time I'm pregnant, the only thing I worry about is the 30 days after delivering the baby, ie my confinement. Every time I had a baby, my joy was limited due to the miserable time I had during my confinement.
Till this day, I cannot understand why the 'seniors' try to make this most important time of your life as miserable as possible. Yes I appreciate their help, I really do, but being forbidden to shower, wash hair, eat fruits and vegetables, even drink water is really inhumane to say the least!
This time around, I'm determined to do things my own way. I plan to hire a professional confinement nanny from a professional confinement services provider. I'm determined that the confinement lady should take orders from me and my husband and not anybody else.
I'm really praying and begging that God will give me a positive confinement experience since this is the last baby we plan to have.
Till this day, I cannot understand why the 'seniors' try to make this most important time of your life as miserable as possible. Yes I appreciate their help, I really do, but being forbidden to shower, wash hair, eat fruits and vegetables, even drink water is really inhumane to say the least!
This time around, I'm determined to do things my own way. I plan to hire a professional confinement nanny from a professional confinement services provider. I'm determined that the confinement lady should take orders from me and my husband and not anybody else.
I'm really praying and begging that God will give me a positive confinement experience since this is the last baby we plan to have.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
His Grace is Sufficient for Me
I didn't sleep well last night. My troubled mind refuse to grant me the rest that I craved. As a result, I'm very tired today. But I thank God for small mercies because my mother took the trouble to visit today. On top of that, she cooked one of my favourite dishes and brought a substantial amount over for me to share with my 3 children. I am very grateful for that as it meant I didn't need to cook much that evening.
It is times like this that I can feel God's love upon me that knowing that I am down, He reached down to touch me, albeit through my mother, my angel. I say this with certainty because I know that my mother has yet to fully recover from her jet lag and her flu which she caught shortly after coming back from Dublin last week.
As I write this, a song is playing on my mind, let me share it with you....
It is times like this that I can feel God's love upon me that knowing that I am down, He reached down to touch me, albeit through my mother, my angel. I say this with certainty because I know that my mother has yet to fully recover from her jet lag and her flu which she caught shortly after coming back from Dublin last week.
As I write this, a song is playing on my mind, let me share it with you....
"Oh Lord, Your tenderness
Melting all my bitterness
O Lord, I receive Your love
O Lord, Your loveliness
Changing all my ugliness
O Lord, I receive Your love
O Lord, I receive Your love
O Lord, I receive Your love"
By Graham Kendrick
May you too receive His love today and tomorrow and the day after tomorrow....till eternity.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Running Low
There are currently 4 men in my life, according to seniority, my father, my brother, my husband and my son. And believe it or not, I'm quite convinced that it is my son who empathises with me the most and he's only 9! The rest are Philistines, emotionally speaking.
As I've said so in my earlier postings, this pregnancy is really taking a toll on me , physically and emotionally. Being nauseous and bloated the whole day is not my idea of having a good time but the men in my life can't seem to grasp that. Mostly they ignore me, or act indifferent which is fine sometimes but it really frustrates me when they think I should just get up and everything will be right as rain!
All these frustrations is draining my emotional tank and red flags are popping all over like crazy. This is the time when I know that I need to draw close to God. When I'm feeling neglected and insecure, and having a pity party all by myself, I know the only way to get out of this pit is to spend more time with God.
I confess I've neglected this very important area of my life, ever since my nausea set in. And at the rate I'm going, I'd better remedy the situation quick. God has promised never to leave us and forsake us and He also said that He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore, which means that what He has promised, He will fulfill. He has promised to be with me. Period.
As I've said so in my earlier postings, this pregnancy is really taking a toll on me , physically and emotionally. Being nauseous and bloated the whole day is not my idea of having a good time but the men in my life can't seem to grasp that. Mostly they ignore me, or act indifferent which is fine sometimes but it really frustrates me when they think I should just get up and everything will be right as rain!
All these frustrations is draining my emotional tank and red flags are popping all over like crazy. This is the time when I know that I need to draw close to God. When I'm feeling neglected and insecure, and having a pity party all by myself, I know the only way to get out of this pit is to spend more time with God.
I confess I've neglected this very important area of my life, ever since my nausea set in. And at the rate I'm going, I'd better remedy the situation quick. God has promised never to leave us and forsake us and He also said that He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore, which means that what He has promised, He will fulfill. He has promised to be with me. Period.
Monday, June 15, 2009
So Sorry
Is feeling lousy a good enough reason not to post a blog? As I said before, I'm a person who quits easily. But because I know I'm a quitter, whenever I do start something, I try my darnest not to abandon ship and I'd hang on doggedly come what may.
This is exactly what I'm facing with my blog. I've been encouraged to start a blog a long time ago but I didn't because I wasn't sure if anyone wanted to read what I wrote. I only started the blog after I was convinced that there was something in me that I wanted to share with you, my readers.
I was just starting to get the hang of it when I fell pregnant, and then things became quite a struggle. Battling with nausea and indigestion the whole day, my mind turned into mush and my body turned on the survival mode and creativity was thrown out of the window.
So please forgive me if my writings lately have been less inspiring and a waste of your time. I hope the symptoms wear off soon and I can bounce back to the way I once was.
This is exactly what I'm facing with my blog. I've been encouraged to start a blog a long time ago but I didn't because I wasn't sure if anyone wanted to read what I wrote. I only started the blog after I was convinced that there was something in me that I wanted to share with you, my readers.
I was just starting to get the hang of it when I fell pregnant, and then things became quite a struggle. Battling with nausea and indigestion the whole day, my mind turned into mush and my body turned on the survival mode and creativity was thrown out of the window.
So please forgive me if my writings lately have been less inspiring and a waste of your time. I hope the symptoms wear off soon and I can bounce back to the way I once was.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Shocking
It's unbelievable what people would do for the sake of money nowadays. The latest I heard was about Gardasil, the vaccine produced by pharmaceutical giant Merck that the whole medical fraternity is urging every woman and even pre-pubescent girls to get to prevent cervical cancer.
Sounds very right and noble right? However, google Gardisil and what you find will render you speechless. In the US alone, 11000 girls have developed sever reactions to the vaccine, to date, 32 have died. That's not all, one report from the US FDA actually revealed that the HPV does not cause cervical cancer, which is what Gardasil claims to tackle in the first place!
My head spun as I read all that and all I can do is thank God again and again that I didn't take it. I have been given the opportunity to take it 3 times but each time I declined as I felt I really didn't need it. Now I know that it was the Holy Spirit that gave me the wisdom and discernment which not protected me but also my daughters.
To learn more, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBAv1H0-dYc.
When I emailed my friends to tell them about the 'news', one of them emailed me back and said in essence, "Honey, Gardasil ain't the only one, educate yourself and go to www.naturalnews.com."
To date, I've not had the stomach to go and look. Perhaps you do.
Sounds very right and noble right? However, google Gardisil and what you find will render you speechless. In the US alone, 11000 girls have developed sever reactions to the vaccine, to date, 32 have died. That's not all, one report from the US FDA actually revealed that the HPV does not cause cervical cancer, which is what Gardasil claims to tackle in the first place!
My head spun as I read all that and all I can do is thank God again and again that I didn't take it. I have been given the opportunity to take it 3 times but each time I declined as I felt I really didn't need it. Now I know that it was the Holy Spirit that gave me the wisdom and discernment which not protected me but also my daughters.
To learn more, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBAv1H0-dYc.
When I emailed my friends to tell them about the 'news', one of them emailed me back and said in essence, "Honey, Gardasil ain't the only one, educate yourself and go to www.naturalnews.com."
To date, I've not had the stomach to go and look. Perhaps you do.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Red Faced
Today has got to be ranked as the most embarrassing day of my life! what happened to me was so embarrassing that I actually have second thoughts about sharing it! But then I thought, what the heck, it's better that I tell it than you hearing it from someone else.
So here goes. I split my pants today, didn't know it and walked all over my neighbourhood hypermarket with my panties exposed!
I'm not upset that I split my pants, I'm actually upset that nobody bothered to tell me! All those people walking behind me and spying my panties, and no one said a word! Chivalry is dead!
So, if I made you laugh today with this posting, I'll consider it my good deed for the day. Write and tell me ok?
So here goes. I split my pants today, didn't know it and walked all over my neighbourhood hypermarket with my panties exposed!
I'm not upset that I split my pants, I'm actually upset that nobody bothered to tell me! All those people walking behind me and spying my panties, and no one said a word! Chivalry is dead!
So, if I made you laugh today with this posting, I'll consider it my good deed for the day. Write and tell me ok?
Monday, June 8, 2009
Being Pampered
My parents just came back from their mini Europe tour a few days ago. They first went to Dublin, Ireland to visit my brother and his wife, and from there, my brother took them to Spain and Portugal. They enjoyed themselves very much and had a great time with my brother and his wife.
I'm really happy that it was a wonderful trip for them, but selfishly, I'm also really glad that my mom is back. going through pregnancy has made me long for my mom because she's the only one that sympathises with all that I'm going through physically. She could even understand why I chopped off all my hair! (I tell people that it's due to the unbearable weather but actually that's only half the story. When one feels ill all the time and spends many hours in bed, coupled that with the heat and you get is a truly grumpy and ugly pregnant woman!)
Anyway, I visited her today and ended up staying for dinner. It was really nice to be pampered for a change.
I pray that God will give my parents long and healthy lives.
I'm really happy that it was a wonderful trip for them, but selfishly, I'm also really glad that my mom is back. going through pregnancy has made me long for my mom because she's the only one that sympathises with all that I'm going through physically. She could even understand why I chopped off all my hair! (I tell people that it's due to the unbearable weather but actually that's only half the story. When one feels ill all the time and spends many hours in bed, coupled that with the heat and you get is a truly grumpy and ugly pregnant woman!)
Anyway, I visited her today and ended up staying for dinner. It was really nice to be pampered for a change.
I pray that God will give my parents long and healthy lives.
I Feel Good
One of my love languages (ways I feel loved) is kinds and loving words. I got plenty of that today at The Marriage Course Post Mortem Meeting just now.
It was really nice to hear the words of encouragement and appreciation coming from the participants in their feedback and also the leaders of the course. My husband and I have been helping out in this ministry for the past 4 seasons and it has been truly satisfying to see lives touched and marriages enriched.
Now that my emotional tank is close to full, I'm all geared up to serve again in The Marriage Course Season 5, big belly or not!
For more information on The Marriage Course, please go to http://www.fga.com.my and click on The Marriage Course. The website's not been updated but Season 5 will be starting on the 1st of August 2009 and registration is already open.
It was really nice to hear the words of encouragement and appreciation coming from the participants in their feedback and also the leaders of the course. My husband and I have been helping out in this ministry for the past 4 seasons and it has been truly satisfying to see lives touched and marriages enriched.
Now that my emotional tank is close to full, I'm all geared up to serve again in The Marriage Course Season 5, big belly or not!
For more information on The Marriage Course, please go to http://www.fga.com.my and click on The Marriage Course. The website's not been updated but Season 5 will be starting on the 1st of August 2009 and registration is already open.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Being Pregnant
I saw the image of the baby within me for the first time yesterday. The little tike's heartbeat was beating really fast and we could even see the baby moving its limbs! The whole experience felt kind of surreal even though I have been through it 3 times before.
I must admit that I was a bit anxious prior to the consultation as there have been comments that my big belly could mean that I was carrying twins! The fact that my sis-in-law dreamt that I had twin boys last year didn't help! So it was a bit of a relieve when the ultrasound scan revealed only 1 baby!
Unfortunately, my doctor didn't prescribe anything for my gas and indigestion and told me to adjust my meal portions and habits to find out what works and what doesn't! A bit impractical I think, since I'm practically eating around the clock, I wouldn't really know what agrees with me and what doesn't; what is the char koay teow 2 hours ago, or maybe the sambal in the nasi lemak just now was a bit off and I didn't realise it? Maybe the pear is giving me gas? Get my drift?
Oh well, I just hope it will all pass soon because the doctor told me that I'm actually 10 and a half weeks into my pregnancy which means 2 more weeks and I would have crossed my 1st trimester. Hopefully by then, I'd be feeling much better.
By the way, my official due date is 1st January 2010!
I must admit that I was a bit anxious prior to the consultation as there have been comments that my big belly could mean that I was carrying twins! The fact that my sis-in-law dreamt that I had twin boys last year didn't help! So it was a bit of a relieve when the ultrasound scan revealed only 1 baby!
Unfortunately, my doctor didn't prescribe anything for my gas and indigestion and told me to adjust my meal portions and habits to find out what works and what doesn't! A bit impractical I think, since I'm practically eating around the clock, I wouldn't really know what agrees with me and what doesn't; what is the char koay teow 2 hours ago, or maybe the sambal in the nasi lemak just now was a bit off and I didn't realise it? Maybe the pear is giving me gas? Get my drift?
Oh well, I just hope it will all pass soon because the doctor told me that I'm actually 10 and a half weeks into my pregnancy which means 2 more weeks and I would have crossed my 1st trimester. Hopefully by then, I'd be feeling much better.
By the way, my official due date is 1st January 2010!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Being Fat
I've been eating a lot these past few weeks, not because I want to, but because I have to. Believe it or not, I'm hungry every 2-3 hours and I need more than a snack to be satiated. I've tried not eating and ended up with a stomach so bloated with gas that it took the whole day before I felt slightly 'normal' again.
I'm worried because I have put on a lot of weight. I'm no spring chicken any more and my metabolic rate is on the sluggish side. Prior to the pregnancy, I worked out in the gym quite religiously and together with watching my diet , I could keep my weight and fat level at a more respectable level.
But now... what with all the eating and the nausea, exercise is quite far from my mind. Doing the essentials is already a huge effort. I really can't bear to think about putting on my sports shoes to even go for a walk!
I'll be paying my obstetrician a visit in a couple of days, and being disciplinarian when it comes to diet and exercise, I really dread what he's going to say about my ballooning weight.
Help... anyone?
I'm worried because I have put on a lot of weight. I'm no spring chicken any more and my metabolic rate is on the sluggish side. Prior to the pregnancy, I worked out in the gym quite religiously and together with watching my diet , I could keep my weight and fat level at a more respectable level.
But now... what with all the eating and the nausea, exercise is quite far from my mind. Doing the essentials is already a huge effort. I really can't bear to think about putting on my sports shoes to even go for a walk!
I'll be paying my obstetrician a visit in a couple of days, and being disciplinarian when it comes to diet and exercise, I really dread what he's going to say about my ballooning weight.
Help... anyone?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Savour Time
My family and I are enjoying our school holidays very much. Every morning I get to sleep in and I don't have to rush for anything.
My children are definitely relishing this time when they get to watch TV the whole day and sleep late and they took out their old toys and started to play again. It's been a really long time since they played with their toys, poor things.
Of course I've given them some chores to do and they have been quite okay with it but I also want them to have some time to really play and dream, doodle, read or whatever that they fancy. Nowadays, children's lives are so packed with school work, tuition and other co-curricular activities that life is often just a blur of things to do.
I really pity my children sometimes because my childhood years were so different. Having grown up siblings, I was alone most of the time and my school holidays always went by slowly. Once I learnt to read, I never complained about being bored anymore. I want my children to have a little taste of what it's like to slow down and just savour time.
My children are definitely relishing this time when they get to watch TV the whole day and sleep late and they took out their old toys and started to play again. It's been a really long time since they played with their toys, poor things.
Of course I've given them some chores to do and they have been quite okay with it but I also want them to have some time to really play and dream, doodle, read or whatever that they fancy. Nowadays, children's lives are so packed with school work, tuition and other co-curricular activities that life is often just a blur of things to do.
I really pity my children sometimes because my childhood years were so different. Having grown up siblings, I was alone most of the time and my school holidays always went by slowly. Once I learnt to read, I never complained about being bored anymore. I want my children to have a little taste of what it's like to slow down and just savour time.
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