Still in Pain

Life for me recently seems to revolve around one word - pain. With that, I mean physical pain. I have pain in my finger, yes it's still not totally healed; pain in my tummy (gas), pain in my rear (diarrhea) and pinched nerve in my buttock and pain in my back. And they are ALL related to my pregnancy!!! Argghhhh!

If you recall, my finger's not healing as usual because being pregnant, the doctor can only prescribe mild antibiotics and it's not really working to eliminate the stubborn germs hiding in my finger. The tummy aches and diarrhea is due to my inability to digest milk, (I used to enjoy milk before my pregnancy). And the weight of my tummy is causing my back muscles to work harder and my spine seems to have gotten misaligned somehow and is pinching a nerve that's connects to my right rear cheek (this has happened in my previous pregnancies).

Sorry to gross you out but I felt that I needed to share my pain!

But there is some good news in the midst of all this. I went to see my ob-gyn the other day and everything is as fine as can be. Baby seems to be growing well and the heartbeat is fast and strong (Dr's words). He was so confident about everything that he scheduled my next appointment 5 weeks away. When we told the nurse that the date given to us is not suitable and could we postpone it to the next week, we got an earful from the nurse who told us "5 weeks is already very long, cannot delay anymore!"

Another 5 months till my EDD (estimated due date). The day seems so far away!

Worthed Listening To

I was stunned when I was invited by the leader of Mother Support group OUG to share 'something' with them. In this instance, the 'something' means a word, or a topic of interest/relevance. I was given the group's vision of the year, and was told that whatever I share, it should be relevant to their vision.

I've never been invited to share/speak before. In fact, after living for almost 37 years, I'm quite convinced that each time I open my mouth in front of an audience, nonsense instead of substance come out! Being a sanguine, I love an audience and I usually endeavour to entertain whenever I'm in a group, it's just me.

So when the invitation came, my first instincts was to decline the kind offer. But then I thought, hang on, God has been really good to me, surely there's something I can say that would encourage the ladies! So I decided that I would share on the greatest thing that God had done in my life thus far, and that was my journey through depression and how God brought me out of it.

Somehow, there was a miscommunication (maybe) cos when the official invitation came through email, the topic became "How to Deal with Stress". Whoa! Now how did that happen? Then I thought, well, stress and depression is linked and I will have to somehow make the connection that day.

So that's how I ended up sharing on dealing with stress with 6 ladies! My very first 'speaking' engagement! I'm not sure what the ladies really thought of my sharing but they were responsive and some could identify with what I went through. It was all over in an hour and I rushed home to get my kids ready for school. But I think it went ok cos the leader said she'd like to invite me again next year!

Till now, I'm still amazed that someone thought that I'm worthed listening to.

God is GOOD!

A little while ago, I shared on my blog about my need to cease from being too active in church but to re-focus my attention towards my family. Initially, when I found that I'm carrying a new life within, I thought that I would continue to serve in The Marriage Course (TMC) Season 5, which will end in October and from then on, take a sabbatical leave. However, I have been plagued with continuous 'problems' related to my pregnancy that I seriously doubted I could muster up the energy for TMC, I could barely function as a mother and wife as it is.

When my pastor shared that revival for the church needs to start from revival in the families, because without families, the church wouldn't exist, I felt a strong conviction and the confirmation that my decision to cease active service is the right one.

So I silently prayed that God will help ease me out of my 'ministries' for as those of you who have served in church committees will understand that once you are in, it's not that easy to get out!

When I went to the TMC Task force Meeting this morning I fully intended it to be my last one although I wasn't sure how my decision would be taken. But I need to give praise to God that He prepared my 'colleagues' well, because they were most supportive of my decision and my portfolios were handed over to capable hands in no time and little hassle.

God prepared the way for me, all I had to do was to step out in faith and obey.

Fat Finger

I dutifully went to the doctor's this morning to get the dressing on my infected pointer changed and was actually quite eager to see the process as the pain had gone and I was quite sure all will be well.

However, when the dressing was cut opened, I saw to my dismay that my finger was still very much swollen. I asked the doctor why is it so difficult for the healing to take place in spite of the antibiotics and all the cleaning done. Previously, my wounds healed without any intervention at all.

He replied that it's partly due to my pregnancy, all my germ fighting antibodies have been re routed my womb, for the benefit of my unborn child, that's why my body is finding it more difficult to heal itself.

In addition, the doctor said I must go in to get my dressing changed every single day, as opposed to every 2 days as he's not very happy about my lack of progress. HELP!

Pain pain

My left pointer was infected beyond recognition and the pain was getting unbearable. I finally conceded to go to the doctors knowing the fate that awaited me.

True enough, the doctor took one look and said, "I'm afraid I'll have to cut it open." I was mentally prepared for the 'surgery' so I calmly asked for an aneasthetic. The doctor told me she'd give me something to numb my finger but I would still feel the pain.

I took a deep breath and followed her into the surgery. The connecting door to the consultation room was left open and my husband and youngest daughter, who wanted to follow could see the procedures.

The doctor first sprayed my infected finger and I cringed from the pain, it felt as if my finger was plunged into a bucket of ice. The doctor held my finger with her left hand and with her right, she held up the surgical knife. When I saw the blade glinting in the light, I quickly looked away and when she sliced my skin my toes curled up in pain, my hair all stood up and I stuffed the tissue which I had been holding in my hand in preparation into my mouth. It took a huge amount of self control to just sit there to let the doctor squeeze out all the pus, all the while kicking my legs, squeezing my daughter's arm (she'd come in to comfort me as soon as she saw me in pain, my husband just sat in the consultation room and cringed on my behalf) and making unintelligible noises.

It was all over in a few minutes and the doctor wrapped up my finger in such huge bandages, it actually looked quite hilarious. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics and sent me home, not before telling me to go back again in 2 days to change the dressing. Oh joy.