How do we love a baby?

This afternoon, I had the privilege of holding a 2-week old new born baby in my arms. He was beautiful and so perfectly made in every way.

A couple of ladies and I were visiting a new mother and as is usual in this type of circumstances, all sorts of advice, whether solicited or not flew back and forth. I was kind of tired during that time or else I may have joined in. But today I just sat and listened.

I came away from the visit slightly down because, most of the advice given were to do with how not to let the baby get too attached to the mum. I fully understand the good intentions of the ladies who were mothers themselves, but I couldn't agree with advice that advocate letting the baby cry instead of comforting it (so that the baby will learn to comfort himself); weaning the baby from the breast as early as possible so that the baby will not get too attached to the breast; or don't carry the baby so much because you will spoil him etc.

A baby's love language is primarily touch; you can tell the baby 100 times a day that you love him but if you don't carry him, it comes to nought. You can buy a million gifts for the baby but if you do not comfort and carry the baby, it comes to nought. You can spend time with the baby by being in the same room with him the whole day, but if you don't look him in the eye, don't hold him close to you, it comes to nought. You can learn carpentry and carve out a rocking horse from a single block of wood, but if you don't carry and touch him frequently, it comes to nought.

A baby doesn't understand the meaning of words yet, but they know the loving and soothing tones of your voice. A baby has no need for gifts except the gift of a loving touch and a comforting hug. A baby will not understand you love him if you leave him to cry till he's too tired and falls asleep; for the purpose of 'training' him to be independent. It's true that he will eventually learn not to cry and sleep on his own but that's because he has learnt that crying will not bring mummy to comfort him.

A baby is not supposed to be independent, when we force that upon the baby before its time, do we wonder why the world now is filled with people who harbour deep seated insecurities and inadequacies?

How, do we love a baby?